i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
