I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize