i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
