So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
