Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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