Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
