It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
