You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
