The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
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