i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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