Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
