Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm bleeding and have questions
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
