Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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