Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
