he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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