so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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