your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
