this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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