Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
