Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
