I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
sarcasm needs its own font
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize