her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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