If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize