Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
