took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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