my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
