Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
