yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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