Screwed.edu
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
