im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
