I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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