I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize