$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
