he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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