He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We need a shit load of segways right now
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
