cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
