she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
