Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You are a genius and a whore.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize