Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
