So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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