508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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