we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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