I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
