In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
