Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
