she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We have started to decorate penises.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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