508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
