Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize