You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
