You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
he quoted the bible to break up with me
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Drake has all the answers
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
