How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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