Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
