i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
