I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
