is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
operation harelip BJ is a go
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
