This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
There's always time for handjobs
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
