I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
is it fun? or sober?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
