I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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