This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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