i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
