I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
