why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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