You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
