you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
