she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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