I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
