yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
