I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He better not be in your backpack
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
