if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
