yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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