You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
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