Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
