at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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